Darkness and Light
by Emzieluvsbooks
Summary: Even the Earth wept for him. A tribute to a cute, sweets-eating boy and his protector.


**A/N: Finally got this story up. It's been circling in my head for months. This is not slash and is not meant to be read as slash. Just friendship and brotherliness. This is my first OHSHC story. Enjoy :D  
**

**Warning: Deals with attempted suicide. If you don't like please do not continue.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own characters. Only own plot**

~Dark To Light~

It was a dreary day, the day my world ended. The sky was choked with dark grey clouds and rain fell intermittently.

Tears from the sky.

We had just gone to his favorite bakery. We always went there after school on Fridays. I didn't want him to go out because of the rain but he looked at me with those eyes and I caved as I always did. He sat on my shoulders his usual way and carried an umbrella over both of us with one hand and Usa-Chan in the other while I walked the familiar route there.

We left the bakery some time later, myself laden with cakes and other baked treats, Mitskuni jumping from puddle to puddle next to me. We came to the street that must be crossed to reach his neighborhood.

I should have been more careful. I should have waited longer to make sure it was safe. But I was impatient. I was carrying more than usual and I wanted to be able to set it all down and sit in a warm, dry kitchen while Mitskuni inhaled every cake and pastry in sight and chattered away.

So I glanced once to the left and once to the right and set out across the street, Mitskuni behind me for once. I didn't like it. I wanted to keep an eye on him which was too difficult if he was behind me. But it was a short distance, there were no cars in sight, and I could hear him well enough. So I didn't protest.

I was around halfway across the street when I hear him cry, "Takashi, look out!" Something hit me hard in the back and I went flying, slamming hard into the asphalt. Tires squealed behind me and I wondered briefly if I was hit by a car. But I was hit in the wrong direction for it to be a car.

I groaned and pushed myself off the ground calling, "Mitskuni." I turned around and the sight that greeted me made my heart stop.

No. _I _wasn't hit by a car.

Horror overwhelmed me when I saw Mitskuni lying broken in the street, a blue pick-up truck some feet away. Evidentially, the driver realized what he had done because with another squeal of tires he fled.

My feet moved by themselves and I ran over to him. "Mitskuni!" I fell to my knees beside him and my eyes widened in dismay at the damage. Blood gushed freely from a gash in his neck and horrible rips and tears marred his skin from the street. His breath rattled in his chest and his arm was twisted in a shape that was just _wrong_.

Panicking, I ripped at my shirt and with a wad of the cloth I pressed it against the tear in his neck. The sheer amount pulsing from the cut terrified me. My hand shaking with adrenalin, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed a number.

It rang twice before it was picked up and I heard a businesslike voice say, "Kyoya. What do you need Mori?"

I didn't waste words. I never do. "It's Mitskuni, Kyoya. Send help."

The line was silent for a moment then, "Shit. Where are you?"

I told him the street. There was one more pause, and then he asked, "How bad?"

I cringed. "Bad." I hung up. He would be here soon, with the rest of the club and most likely enough medical help for a dozen injured people.

Mitskuni stirred under my hand and I immediately called out to him gently. "Mitskuni?" He groaned and I brushed a hand through his hair. "Mitskuni?"

"Ta-ka-shi?" He groaned again and opened his eyes blearily.

"Yes." I stroked his hair again and tried not to show how scared I was. "Yes Mitskuni, I'm here."

His eyes, always an open book, were wide with pain. And concern. "Are you…okay…Takashi?"

My heart broke. "Yes Mitskuni. I'm okay thanks to you. And you're going to be okay too, alright. I promise."

He smiled weakly. "Glad…your…okay Taka-shi."

His eyes closed again and fear washed over me. I gripped his shoulders and called loudly. "Mitskuni! Stay with me, okay? I need you to stay awake."

He moaned but his eyes opened again. "Hard to…Takashi. Hurts."

"I know, I know." Mitskuni coughed weakly and blood welled on his lips. I looked around hurriedly.

Damn it, Kyoya! Hurry!

"Takashi?" I quickly looked back at my little charge. "Where's…Usa-Chan?"

I saw his beloved bunny a few feet away and I grabbed it. I snuggled it into his unbroken arm. "Right here Mitskuni."

He looked happier for a second then went into a horrible coughing fit. They were wet and wracking and terrifying. Blood spattered from his mouth. He tried to take a deep breath but cried out. "Hurts!" His breath caught in his throat and his eyes were foggy and the cloth against his neck had long been soaked through.

I swore. I had never felt so useless in my entire life.

"Taka-shi?" His voice was a whisper now and I leaned in low to hear.

"Yes Mitskuni, I'm here. Everything's going to be fine. Shhh."

"Love…you."

My heart panged and I gripped his uninjured hand in my own. "I love you too Mitskuni." I kissed his forehead and whispered, "Now stop talking like your dying. You're not, I won't let you. You're going to be absolutely fine."

But his hand was limp in my own. His big, warm brown eyes were glassy and weren't looking at me anymore.

"Oh God no. No, no, no, no, no." I pressed my ear to his little chest and the silence hit me like a physical blow.

Oh God not Mitskuni. Not him.

I felt sobs build up in my chest and I hugged his little form close. Tears ran down my face freely and I wept, rocking him. "Oh please God don't take him. Please. Not Mitskuni, not my bunny. Please don't take him from me! Please don't take away my bunny!" My hands clenched in his sodden clothes and hair and I held him closer. "Please…please."

His blood stained my clothes as I held him.

I don't know how long I was there, holding him. It was days, years, lifetimes. The world grew old and died, the sun burned out, the universe changed while I held him and cried. Eventually, I felt arms encircle my shoulders and chest and pull me away from him. I snapped. I screamed and I fought and hit whoever held me. A flash of purple eyes and blonde hair recoiled away from me as I lashed out violently. It didn't matter. All that mattered was getting back to him. I wouldn't leave him alone, I wouldn't!

Someone was calling my name but I couldn't tell who it was. I just kept fighting against them all, against everyone keeping me away from my Mitskuni.

I saw a medic take Mitskuni away and I heard a scream. It was the scream of a wild animal, savage and rabid.

It was me.

I fought until something sharp pricked my neck and the world went black.

Well, blacker.

_~Ouran High School Host Club~_

_~Three months later~_

The world is dead. There's nothing good left. Everything that I am, that I love, died three months ago. Nobody understands, nobody knows.

Sure, the other members of the host club are sad. They miss him too. But it's different with me. I died that day, when he died. My own beating heart is just a triviality. My real heart is gone, dead and buried.

Everyone tries to be nice, to be understanding. But they don't get it. I'm alone and numb. My body follows the routine of the day but I'm not there. How can I be when I'm dead?

Snow is falling overhead. It's been a colder winter than usual. Fitting. I trudge my usual way over to the cemetery like I have every day since.

I remember the funeral. I wasn't sad. I couldn't feel anything. It was unreal, like a nightmare. It couldn't be Mitskuni they were lowering into the ground, that would mean he was dead. And he couldn't be dead. Mitskuni would run up to me any second now and ask for cake. He would climb his way up to my shoulders and smile and laugh.

Any second now.

Grieving friends and family surrounded me as they lowered him into the ground, away from the sun and flowers and cake he loved so much. My jaw clenched. No, don't bury him. He was going to wake up. He had to.

But he wouldn't. Not ever.

The host club members were all there. Haruhi wore a black dress, tears flowing from her brown eyes. They looked like _his _eyes, my bunny's eyes. Tamaki, his eye black from where I had struck him and his expression grim, wrapped his arm around her. He looked at me for a moment and I could practically feel the sadness and support he was radiating.

The twins stood side by side, eyes lowered and shoulders slumped. Hikaru sniffed and Kaoru hugged him, rubbing his back in comforting circles. Kyoya was a picture of businesslike professionalism. Anyone besides us would think that he didn't care. Only we could see the difference in him, the lack of the shine that the host club had instilled in him over time.

They each came forward with a rose, our own special roses. I was the last to step up to the grave and gently toss my dark blue rose onto the tiny wooden casket.

Then they shut him away from me forever, covering him with soil until the grave was filled.

That was one week after the accident.

Every day since has been dead, black and decayed. I could feel nothing. Food was ash, warmth was nonexistent, and sleep was tortured. Smiles were fake and pitying and not even friends could heat the cold that had frozen my soul.

I couldn't take it anymore. The living death I was experiencing was unbearable. It was like my heart had been ripped out and in its place was a hole. A hole filled with guilt, sadness, anger, grief, and loneliness. This horrible tangle of emotions was trapped there, trapped by the cold and I couldn't let them out. I couldn't stand it.

Slowly I made my way over to his headstone and I knelt next to it. I rested my head against the cool granite and I traced his name with my fingertip. His headstone was so unlike him, cold and hard and black. At least he still has Usa-Chan. I had made sure his beloved bunny was snuggled next to him in the casket so he wouldn't be alone.

"Mitskuni," I said. My voice was hoarse with disuse. I hadn't spoken since the accident. "I'm here."

I sat down and rested my back against his headstone. "I came to tell you that…I don't think I can go on anymore. I _know_ I can't." I took a deep breath and breathed out again in a ragged sigh. "I've been so tired Mitskuni. I…I just can't take it anymore."

I reached into my coat pocket and withdrew the blade I had brought. I slid my sleeves up to my elbow and pressed the sharp edge to my wrist. I paused for a second and whispered, "I'll see you soon, Mitskuni."

And I pressed the blade in deep and slid it from my wrist to my elbow in one smooth stroke. Crimson welled in the cut and spilled onto the snow creating a contrast that was in some ways beautiful. I winced and did it again, grimacing as my blood flowed.

My vision grew foggy and I managed one more cut on my other arm before the knife slipped from my slippery, red fingers. I slumped against Mitskuni's headstone, panting, and watched as red seeped out my arms. My head spun and black spots started dancing in my eyes. My heart raced and my eyes drooped from sudden exhaustion.

_I hope they won't be too mad at me_, I thought as my vision darkened more. My eyes closed and I felt myself start to sink into unconsciousness.

But before the world turned into that blessed blackness I could feel small, warm hands close around my arms. They pressed against my cuts and then one hand brushed against my cheek and forehead. I struggled to wrap my foggy mind around this but it was too hard and I gave myself up once more to death.

"MORI!"

Everything went black.

_~Ouran High School Host Club~_

Everything is dark. And warm. I'm floating in a dim sea of smothering clouds. It's nice. I like it here.

How did I get here? I think it was important. Whatever, just so long as I can stay.

A shrill, persistent beeping invaded my ears. My brow crinkled a little. It was loud and annoying. Why couldn't it stop?

The dim clouds started to brighten. It hurt my eyes.

No. Let me get back. I don't want to go there. It hurts there.

But I couldn't stop and I felt my eyes open. It was white and too bright and stiff. Uncomfortable. I closed my eyes again and tried to get back to the darkness. It's nicer there.

Suddenly, I became aware of a dull ache in my arms. For some reason, that struck a chord in my befuddled brain.

My arms hurt. Why? Why do they hurt? It's important, I know it is.

…

Oh.

Oh no.

Oh God no.

Everything came back. Slitting my wrists. Seeing the red pool in the snow. Dying.

Mitskuni's death.

The pain flooded my heart ten times worse than before. Dammit! It didn't work. Why didn't it work?!

The shrill beeping started to speed up until it was racing. My jaw clenched as the pain and grief spread throughout the rest of my body. I wasn't numb this time. The trapped pain from my heart was free.

Oh God, it hurt.

"Mori? Mori, are you awake? Mori!"

My eyes opened and I saw Haruhi standing over me, her big brown eyes filled with concern. Relief seemed to pour from her when she saw my open eyes.

"Oh thank God, Mori! We were all so worried about you." She smiled and took my hand from where she sat. I didn't respond. The pain was overwhelming.

I heard concern creep into her voice again. "Mori? What's wrong? What's the matter?"

My chest tightened and I moaned, my eyes squeezing shut. Dimly, my mind registered Haruhi shouting at someone and the scurry of feet entering the room. Someone tried to speak to me but I ignored them. Tears slipped from under my eyelids and cried out again, the pain continuing to radiate from my heart in waves.

Something sharp pricked my neck and I passed out again.

_~Ouran High School Host Club~_

My eyes opened in the bright, white room again. I remembered everything. Somehow, the pain was pulled to my heart again. The numbness returned to the rest of me.

I was alone in that room for a while. Fluid dripped and flowed into my arm where an IV was attached. The beep of my heart persisted, much to my disdain. At one point a nurse came in and propped me up.

After an eternity of waiting there alone, I heard the door swing open. Haruhi and the Hitachiins entered. They noticed immediately that I was awake, my eyes open and staring dully at the wall.

Haruhi immediately pulled a chair close to my bed and sat down. "Mori, you're awake again. Thank God! How are you feeling?"

I felt Kaoru and Hikaru come to my other side. "Yeah Mori, your fit yesterday scared the shit out of us," Hikaru said. Kaoru nodded in agreement.

I didn't answer them. Haruhi sighed. She was used to my silence by now. I haven't spoken to anyone in months. She got up and said, "I'm going to call the others. They're going to want to see Mori while he's awake." She left.

Hikaru and Kaoru stayed with me. They didn't speak, they just sat beside me. Haruhi returned in a couple minutes and said, "They'll be here as soon as they can."

Tamaki and Kyoya entered in a rush in around ten minutes. Tamaki smiled in his exuberant way and bounced to a spot behind Haruhi. "Mori! You're awake. You really gave us a good scare yesterday."

I continued to stare at the wall, saying nothing. It didn't deter Tamaki who continued to babble on. "You'll be up and about in no time! The doctors all say you're out of the danger zone. Good thing, huh? We were starting to think you would never wake up. Well, it looks like you'll be okay now."

My jaw clenched. I spoke the first words to them since the accident. "Why…am I here?" I grated out.

They all seemed to be visibly surprised at my voice. I wonder if they'd forgotten the sound. Or maybe I sounded different. Doesn't matter really.

Kyoya was the one that answered me. "This is one of the Ootari hospitals. You'll receive the best care here."

I shook my head. "Why am I here?" I asked again.

They looked at me, confused. "Kyoya just told you…" Hikaru said.

I snapped. "WHY? Am I HERE!?" I screamed at them.

Kyoya was the first to understand. I could see it in his eyes. But it was Kaoru that answered me. "…Tamaki found you in the cemetery. You were…bleeding an awful lot. He was barely able to get you to the hospital in time."

Tamaki's eyes were downcast. His long, blonde curls fell over his face and hid it from me. My voice was harsh from restrained fury. "You should have let me die."

It was silent in the room. My voice dropped to a barely audible murmur. "I _wanted_ to die."

A resounding crack echoed throughout the room. My face stung. Haruhi stood over me with her hand outstretched. I could see the fury in her eyes.

"Damn you Mori-sempai! Damn you!"

She pulled her hand to her chest. It was red from the force she had slapped me with. A tear leaked from her shadowed eyes. "How dare you. How dare you try to kill yourself!"

Tamaki tried to pull her back into a chair but she shook him off violently. "I'm fine!" She tossed her head back up and looked me right in the eyes. "You are so selfish. So unbelievably selfish. Do you think you're the only one who misses Honey? Do you!"

Her words angered me. My voice was cold as I said, "You have no idea. None."

"Of course we do!" Her eyes had fire in them. "Do you think you're the only one that has ever lost someone close to you? Honey-sempai was our friend too! I lost my mom!"

"You don't understand. No one does."

"Then tell us!"

I was silent. Everyone else in the room was looking down.

Except Haruhi. She was still looking right at me. "You were going to make us lose you too. Ever think about that?"

I couldn't look at her. But she wasn't done yet. "And do you have any idea how Tamaki must have felt, finding you in a pool of your own blood?! How dare you do this to him? To us?!"

"…I couldn't-" I swallowed. "I couldn't do it anymore Haruhi." I looked up. My eyes were shiny with unshed tears. "I just couldn't."

Haruhi was crying. "You could have asked us for help then you bastard." She wrapped me in her arms and I cried. I cried like I did three months ago. I don't know for how long. But the entire time Haruhi held me. Tamaki sat next to us and hugged us both. The Hitachiins moved in close and joined in our group hug. Kyoya walked over and gripped my shoulder in support.

And there was one other. The same warm hand from the cemetery brushed my forehead.

This time I knew who it was.

And I was lifted up. Lifted up from the pit of grief I was drowning in by my friends. My family. The pain trapped in my heart was let out, but not violently. It became bearable.

The wound was there. It ached with the sadness I knew I would always feel.

But it stopped bleeding.

I could live again.

_~Ouran High School Host Club~_

_~Seventy Years Later~_

It's springtime now. Birds are singing and new flowers are growing. It is beautiful.

I am eighty seven years old now. I'm an old man. Old and tired.

And I am dying.

I can feel it in my bones. In my soul. It's my time now. I no longer belong in this world. It's time for me to leave and make room for young, new people.

I've visited my family. Hugged Haruhi and Tamaki's grandchildren one more time. Drank a cup of tea with Kyoya and his wife Aimi. Chatted with Hikaru and Kaoru and gave Ageha a hug. Said goodbye to Satoshi.

I have one more stop to make.

I slowly hobbled my way through the cemetery, leaning heavily on my cane, until I finally got to _him_.

I managed to sit down next to his headstone, my old legs creaking, and leaned my back against it like I did so many years ago.

"I'm back, Mitskuni," I said softly.

A slight breeze blew my brittle, grey hair back and cooled my face. I smiled. "It's finally time. It's time to see you again."

My eyes closed and I took a deep breath. Then I leaned my head back against the cool granite and waited.

An indefinite amount of time passed when a hand gently squeezed my arm. My eyes opened and there he was, smiling that precious smile of his.

He offered me his hand and I took it, my hand smooth and unwrinkled. I stood took in the withered old man I left leaning against a headstone.

He looked happy.

Mitskuni laughed and jumped up onto my shoulders, Usa-chan swinging from one hand.

And I left with his familiar weight upon my shoulders again. I didn't look back

**A/N: Tissue anyone? Hope you enjoyed. Please, please, please, please review and tell me what you think. Just don't flame please. Thanks for reading everyone!**


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